love
Been A While… Got Some Things To Tell You..
Okay, so… it’s been since last year since i’ve written…. (: okay, but its been since November so it’s been a while. Sorry for that. Many things have happened… lets see.. where to start:
Finals for 1st Semester went well yada yada yada..
The world didn’t end on December 21st yada yada yada..
Winter Break was good, kinda-ish boring when it wasn’t Christmas or New Years.
For the first time ever, on Christmas day, my sisters didn’t come for Christmas. Last year, my oldest sister didn’t come (cause she had a fiance and a kid), but my other (also older sister) would come over on Christmas Eve after we went to my grandparents, but she didn’t this year because she has a boyfriend and they live together and have a dog together. But I got to see both of them and my niece on Christmas Eve. Oh my! I have an amazing family! xD i don’t think anyone outside of our family would be able to survive the night with us! we are so unique! x) . My cousin, Kerra, told me a story about our other cousin and our aunt. My aunt asked my cousin, Amber, a question. Amber goes, “I don’t know, ask ChaCha.” then my aunt went, “.. Your ChaCha talks to you?!?!” x) and that’s just one thing! But anyways, I had a good time on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Got a Piano Keyboard! Learned how to play Thunder by BoysLikeGirls (: (I know how to play other songs but that was the first song i learned on my new keyboard).
Once Christmas was over, things started to slow down and get more relaxing.. but me and my cousin, Kerra, were talking about the good old times and wanted to have a sleepover with all us cousins. It was going to be at my house and i had to make sure everything was all good. I wasn’t expecting my two sisters and cousin, Amber, would want to come because they 3 are in their 20s and have their own lives. Kerra is 19 but she hangs out with me, and my cousins Madison (15 yrs old), and Nikkie (13 yrs old). She mostly would hang out and text Madison (probably because Madison is dating Kerra’s work friend, Josh). But when I was getting all the stuff ready for the sleep over, I texted Madison and Nikkie and they wouldn’t text me back. Madison did the same thing when i asked her if she wanted to go to Six Flags on the last day it was open because i had a coupon to get her in free and i promised i would take them before the season ended. My mom talked to my aunt first (Nikkie and Madison’s mom) and she said Nikkie was busy but i should text Madison to see if she was free. But she never answered, so i guess she didn’t want to go. Once she did it again, I was just done with her. I’m not going to give my all to people who won’t even give me anything. Which brings me to MT…
A day after we were back to school, MT and his girlfriend broke up. I thought that this was my perfect chance to be with him! Yeah no. He has changed since i first started liking him. And there is one reason. Taylor. This slutty girl that forced MT to be friends with her. Oh no, but it’s not just MT she has taken. When i started liking RW, she dated him. When i started liking Jacob (got some more to say about him:)), she starts barging in. And to top it all off, my two best guy friends, George and Logan, she is now trying to get close to them. Coincidence? Maybe.. but do I like her? Heck no! She even flirts with our Biology teacher!! (we have Biology, Algebra, and more together :P). I just don’t like her, at all!
Anyways, lets talk about today. As of January 7th, 2013, i came out with all of my friends (even my loud-mouth friend, Sean) that i like Jacob, and am slowly getting over MT (i’m starting to be disgusted by him since he hangs out with Taylor). My friends reactions were:
Shea: Ew!
Azure: Awww! You so love him!
Addie: Oh My Gosh!!!! Awwwwww!
Sean: dude! i could so get you two together!
Suzana (she went out with him and i asked her how she felt about us): Totally okay with it, just remember, to get into his pants, there is like an 84 digit lock, saran wrap, a lock, and a Chasity belt!
x) ohhhhhh Suzana, how much i love our friendship!
Anyways, who knows what this week will bring.. I’ll try to keep you posted (:
Think i covered everything, so….. Bye!!! (:
P.S. if you don’t know who Dave Days and iamchrisc is, LOOK THEM UP ON YOUTUBE!!! i love them (:
mkay, byee
Thanksgiving: family brought together? or torn apart?
So it’s the day before Thanksgiving and i just got on Thanksgiving break (Thank God!!). So I have 5 days without drama… ha! yeah right :l . My family is.. interesting. On my dad’s side, almost all of them are snooty rich people. On my mom’s side, I am MUCH closer on my mom’s side. We are all girls (a boy not born on that side of the family since 1961). I have 4 cousins (all girls), 2 sisters(both only my half-sisters), and a niece. Practically that whole side of the family is bipolar, and that is the problem.
Every year for Thanksgiving, we would have to go to my dad’s side first, to my great aunt’s house. That house is huge! Right when you walk down in the basement, you see this bar with a flat screen and you turn around and they have a pond.. under the stairs.. with fish swimming in it. Everyone on that side of the family thinks this is normal styled living, except for me, my mom, and dad. I feel like they kind of look down on us as the poor people in the family, we are more of the.. country living styled while they are.. fancy living styled. My mom can’t stand anyone on that side of the family, she just feels judged by them because she hasn’t had the best past. Kind of like me. It’s not like i can’t stand them, its just there is so many of them, that are rich, and im just a shy girl, and i feel like they are going to judge me with anything I say. I don’t have any blood related cousins, but there are people that my dad says they are my cousins (but like 2nd or 3rd cousins). But they are older and don’t care about me. There is one girl that is my “cousin” and she is the only one that is nice to me, she says hi to me when she sees me and i say hi back. Just every time we have to go over there, i count the minutes of how long it’s going to be until we go to my mom’s side.
When we go to my mom’s side, I love it, I forget all the bad things and I’m just in a happy place, until drama starts. That side of the family is messed up and sometimes crazy. We do have loving, funny moments, but we also have hard to get through times. Like I said a while ago, almost all of us are girls, and bipolar runs in the family. There has been so much drama in this family that i wouldn’t have enough time to put all of it in this post. Like last year, at Thanksgiving, i found out by one of my cousins that my other cousin was cutting herself, and told our other cousin (not saying names for privacy reasons so sorry if this gets confusing). We were really close when we were younger (we are exactly 9 months apart). She was closer to my age than our cousin she told (they are 4 years apart). I guess she thought i was too young to understand? actually no, I was in the same position as her but I didnt tell anybody (I’m not anymore thank goodness). So a lot of stuff went down about that last Thanksgiving, and I’m scared for whats in store tomorrow, most likely it’s going to be either something about my aunt and uncle or something between my sister and dad. Wish me luck! (: i’ll just try to look at the bright side.
oh, and P.S. Jacob nd my friend broke up 4 days after they got together, and i don’t know if i still have feelings for him or not, I’m just trying to enjoy the single life (: well byeeeeee (: and hope you have/had an amazing Thanksgiving (:
Really?! I Mean, Really?!!
Aside Posted on
About last week my math teacher changed the seating arrangements. That was the one class i sat by MT. I then went back one seat and MT went across the room. At that time i was like, “No, now i can’t talk to him and we will drift apart.” but later i was like, “Okay this is good, now it will be easier to get over him.
Well i get to Algebra class today and i sit down in my seat. Our teacher has MT switch seats with the girl that sat in front of me. If i had the thoughts of how i felt about him last week, i would be like, “Yes! This is a God-Sent thing! We are destined to be together!” but now im like, “Oh great, here we go again..”
And like i said in “Wonderful Weekend”, that i went to Six Flags with my friend, Azure, well… while we were waiting in line to get on a ride, i did a relationship quiz on her and her crush on my ipod. So she then made me do one on me and MT. So i put in both our names (his real name) and we got a 99% chance of being together. And so Azure made me try it on a different relationship quiz app i had, and it also said 99% with an analysis saying things including, “if not together already, they sure will be soon.”
Really?! I Mean, Really?! This kind of stuff always happens when i try to get over a guy. Yes i am happy about it but it also stinks because it hurts to be seeing him with his girlfriend (especially since they are telling each other they love each other) and he kind of hangs out with this popular slutty girl who i think also likes him (even though shes dating her best friend’s older brother).
It’s easy to fall in (fake) love, but extremely hard to get out of it. It’s like a black hole of pretend happiness.
Not so Wonderful Sight
Well, some things have happened. MT now has a girlfriend, and I hate her. I don’t hate her because she’s going out with him, I hate her because she made my friends life a living hell for 2 years, she’s pretending to be someone she’s not, and she is rude.
All my friends hate her for the same reasons I do. When I told them they were going out, they were like “what?! Ewww! She’s a bitch!” and I was like yep. One day, my friend, Azure chased MT down the hallway at school and once she got him, she hit him on the shoulder and said “you chose the wrong girl!” he was just like “okay?”
He uses my iPod almost everyday to listen to music and the class is real quiet when we are working so it was me, MT, my friend George, Sean, Logan, and Aaron. He had the music playing so loud we all started laughing. The teacher never heard it but the whole class did. Well back to him and his new gf.
They went to homecoming together, and that’s his new profile picture. And yesterday, I was walking with my friends to 5th hour and I turn my head I see him hug her and kiss her. It hurt because that was the first time I have seen that. I don’t know why it’s still bothering me though. When I got into 5th hour the first friend i saw that knows about my crush was George so I told him and he was like “Good for you. Wait, no, bad for you.” I was like no derrh :l. Later on he said sorry and drew a picture of MT about to get hurt but I said that I wasn’t angry about him I was angry about her. So he drew a picture of her and a big rock above her head. It did make me feel a little better (:
It still bothers me to know that they are together but I can’t get that to make me upset, I don’t want RW all over again. I’m sure not letting that happen, no matter what.
Oh how friends are funny..
At math, a class I have with MT and my friend George, we were working on a worksheet and MT took my phone and wouldn’t give it back. He called it his phone so I go “oh so you have a picture of boys like girls as your wallpaper and you say you love them.” so then he went to take a picture to change it and my memory was full so he deleted one of my pictures! (: I can’t believe him (: . My friend, George, came over to help me get my phone back but he wouldn’t budge! He just kept jokingly calling it his phone! (: MT goes “I’m gonna put it in my pants so u won’t be able to get it” and george goes “then she’ll lick it after u give it back to her!” I just look at George with my mouth open saying “Oh my gosh!” I didn’t see MT’s reaction though. Later, MT said he would give it back to me but when he stuck it out for me to grab it, he wouldn’t let go so we were pretty much playing tug of war over it and George says “Awwww you two are holding hands!”
MT then let go and George said “I knew that would get him.”
Ohhhhh George is a funny guy aint he 🙂 :l
Late Night Thinking..
It’s dark in my room except for the red light on my tv, that I stare at while re-thinking my day. Making sure I finished all my homework, doing a mental check of making sure I have everything for the next day, do my prayers, think about my family, and… well MT. I think I talk about him wayyyy too much, and I do. It’s because when I write, I write what’s in my heart, and, he’s there. Okay so I will catch you up on what he has done and then come back to the whole thinking thing.
*few days ago*
I go to math class (where he sits behind me in!!) and we have to work with a partner or by ourselves on this worksheet, so he and I talked pretty much the whole time (: we went to the same concert the week before and apparently our seats were right next to each other! But I didn’t see him and he didn’t see me. 😦 but anyways, my phone starts going off, (thank god it was on vibrate) it was my moms friend and I said “why the heck is she calling me!” I then clicked ignore and sat my phone on my lap and MT goes “can I see your phone?” so I give it to him and he starts going through my contacts.. He called my friends Addie, Celeste, and George. He also called ChaCha (obviously didn’t work) and a nearby radio station (that didn’t pick up). He was joking that he was going to call my cousin, Amber. But the major one that will stick in my heart forever was when he was joking about calling my dad… This is what he said:
“Oh your dad! I’m gonna call him and he will be like ‘hello?’ and I’ll be like ‘hi’ and he’ll say ‘who is this?’ and I will be like ‘this is Erica’s boyfriend’ and he’ll be like ‘WHATT??!!'”
My heart skipped a beat when he jokingly said that! I mean oh my gosh!!!! (:
*back to now*
I keep thinking about MT, and when I was just starting to think about him, “country must be country wide” by Brantley Gilbert came on (because im listenin to the radio too) and that’s our song!!! We both LOVE Brantley! (: it’s pretty much our song (: such a coincidence. (:
So math class today, we got our seats changed and when I found that out, the first thing I thought of was MT. but guess what,,, we now sit on each others side(: and we traded jolly rancher flavors (he gave me his blue raspberry for my watermelon :)). I know he didn’t actually mean it, but I lent him a pencil and he goes “oh my gosh I love you” it made my heart melt(: I think about these things at night.
If that one thing about if you dream about someone, that means they were thinking about you the night before is true, then MT must dream about me almost every night. (:
Falling: in need of him to catch me.
Today was my official first day of high school, where we start talking about tests and writing notes, and where I get to see MT. Yeahhh, so like I said in “Made my day” we have 4 classes together which is more than half. Today was his first day for him because the first two he was on vacation. So it all started when I walked into 1st hour (which I have with MT) my friend Katie is in that class with me so we sat by each other, in the same seats we chose on the first day. I sit down, with Katie on my right side. And looking around where MT would sit it or if he was in the room already. Katie starts talking to me and guess who I see in the seat behind her… yeah, MT. I barely recognized him because he had a hat on and it covered his face a little. But after Katie and I talked, she left the room to go to the bathroom and it left me sitting there playing with my hair hoping he would see me. Hey then goes “Hey Erica.” yes! I said “Hey!” and of course that was it :l. Later, our teacher gave us assigned seats and of course MT was put at the 5th row, 2nd seat and I was at 1st row, 2nd seat. The seats were assigned by the letter of our last names in alphabetical order. Why can’t D and T be next to each other in the alphabet :l. But when class ended I went over to Katie and she went over to MT to compare schedules so I followed her of course (: so we went over and after they compared, MT looks over at me and goes “you are definitely helping me in algebra. I’ll just copy all of your answers.” we both laugh at the last part but of course.. “yeah but that wouldn’t work cause we are both sitting at different sides of the room.” I said because of course that class was put in alphabetical order too :p.
In one of my classes with MT I was listening to one of the other students talk and I saw him and it seemed like he was looking at me, I kept glancing over and every time it seemed like he was looking at me. It was weird but I liked it(: later when I got home, I got to work on my homework and all I could think about was MT. :l I am reliving RW and I don’t want to, I want a crush where I don’t feel hurt more than happiness, but im on my way to it :l
I’m difficult, I can’t have just a harmless crush on a guy, I go full heartedly and I completely fall for them.
I waited 3 years for RW to catch me when I was falling for him and he let me hit rock bottom and I’m still trying to get over it. I don’t want the same thing to happen with MT.
Boyfriend
Im in a land of girls with boyfriends. Lost and unconscious. if only that one guy (especially MT) would come sweep me off my feet and make me the happiest girl in the world. Ive been with my cousins for about a week now and they both have guys that they love and love them back while I’m stuck.. With no one. I wish I was single by choice when truly its by chance ( and I hate that) I have never had a real relationship and in gonna be a freshman, I need to find that special guy who actually likes me back.
Anyways, good news, I was on Facebook, MT commented on my status! I kno its no big deal really but I know RW would have NEVER done that. MT also learned how to play a song I love on guitar. He plays the two instruments I want to learn how to play, what a coincidence 🙂 he is.. different from RW i mean he isn’t afraid to be seen with me or talk to me, hell, him nd his friend were being weird and using mine nd my friends shirts as targets to get these bean things in our shirts. Lol (his friend mostly used my friend nd he mostly used me :)) he’s funny and sweet and has the most cutest sister:)
Well I better get going, I’m at my uncles soccer game
Blog ya later! 🙂
Mind vs. Heart
Why hello again. Sorry for the wait. Anyways, guess who today’s post is about… If you guessed RW then you’re right! Now if you’re new to my blog than I’ll catch you up to date. RW is what I call a certain person I’ve had a major crush on for 3 years. Okay sooooo, he has a new girlfriend… Just another thing that tells me that it is never going to happen. My mind says “it’s never happening so get over it! He’s a football player and you’re an outsider! Never happening!”
When my heart tells me, “No no! It’s gonna happen, keep trying! You 2 are meant to be together! He loves you and you love him!”
It was hurting me so much that I wrote a new song about it when I got home from school. It’s called “why can’t I?” and it’s about how she gets to date someone I think of WAY more than her, I’ve done so much more than her and I deserve him more but she still has him in her life so why can’t I? What does it take? It’s the 26th song I’ve written and the 4th I’ve written about RW. He is who I “love” and I’ve tried to get over it but every time I just look into those deep blue eyes, I just fall back again. You know the quote
“Trip over love, you get right back up, Fall in love and you fall forever”
I doubt that the person who wrote that knew that they were writing a (almost) 14 year old girl’s life.
ericaalynn13 