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Have you ever had this one song just describe you in every way possible? It messes with your emotions and just makes you clear your mind?
For me, music is there when no one else is. Music is my life. It is always there to help me get through things.
Like any song by my favorite bands will make me calm and happy.
Then “River Flows In You” by Yiruma is what I call my ‘trigger song’. If you’ve heard it, you’ll know that it’s just piano, but it is insanely beautiful. The first time I heard it, I was on Tumblr reading this really sad bit of a fanfic someone posted. It was set up as a girl named Danielle writing a letter to her boyfriend, Luke (Luke Hemmings from 5 Seconds of Summer). It read as her writing it to him while he was up in heaven because he died due to a car crash of a drunk driver on the night he was going to propose to her. Now whenever I hear the song, I think of it and become depressed and I get dark thoughts but the song is so beautiful I can’t help myself (I’m even listening to it right now). It’s an incredible song and so beautiful. I’m even learning how to play it.
What I’m trying to say is, music is able to control our emotions and how we react to things. Music is the greatest thing in my life and has saved me so many times, I’ve lost count.
Music is in our lives more than we think. It can change us. It can make us feel alive. It can make us feel depressed. It can make us feel inspired. Music can give us so many emotions and thoughts.
Music is life.
Hi there! It’s been so long!!! Sorry 😛
Well… I’m 15… a Sophomore… And things will change…
I don’t care about certain things anymore.. Like “RW” and “MT”… I’m stopping with that… It was dumb.. To be honest, their names were Ricky and Max and they both mean nothing to me now. I’m over that. They’ve both changed for the worst and I’m just done with it.
Alright!! Starting out completely new!!(:
Hi, I’m Erica!
I love music, like the band 5 Seconds of Summer, and my cat. Drama always finds its way into my life and that is why I have this account! To vent out. You don’t have to read if you don’t want to, but if you do, that is amazing and I love you(:
Honestly, I’m a fangirl who’s life revolves around music and lives her life day by day.
So here comes the new Erica!! Are YOU ready?(:
If you want to contact me in any other way, here are my other online accounts:
* Let me just note, I wrote this the day before I post this. So if you read it the day it’s posted and I say “today” it was really yesterday and “tomorrow” would really be today. Okay thank you so much!! (: much love!! xx *
Okay so um… Today (of course out of all the days!) my best guy friend told me he liked me. Doesn’t sound bad? Well he’s been in a long but sometimes on/off relationship with one of my best friends.
So my best friend (I’m not gonna name names because I may be telling u about my personal life but I have no right to write about theirs) has been going out with my best guy friend for about 3 years now. Lately they have been on and off. He was my friend two years before she was but they both still mean so much to me. Well my friend is wanting to go back out with him and was planning to ask him back out today but she got nervous and didn’t. So in 5th hour, me and him have that class together and sit by each other. He gives me a note. I thought it would be something about how he wanted to get back with my best friend because I know he does and we always pass notes about that. Once i got the letter, it said:
Don’t get weirded out but I like you. Because you actually care about what I do and you support me and you always got my back please listen to what I’m saying to you I’m telling you this because its true and I would do anything you want me to I’m an ass but I will change you will be mad if you don’t listen to where these words are coming from.
(Sorry if there are grammar errors, I copied down exactly how the letter was written)
But so he didn’t see me read it and so he asked me at the end of class if I read it and I panicked and said no, I forgot (yes, very middle schoolish of me) but he told me to read it in next hour but I had EOCs in next hour! (A big state test that’s apparently a big deal) and it was in history class!! My worst subject!! And the EOC I was most worried about!! I was distracted through the whole thing because I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
It’s not like I like him back or anything, I don’t, he is like a brother to me and me and my friends would always say him and my best friend were the mom and dad of the group because they were the only couple that both of them were in our group of friends. The only thing that freaks me out about it is that he is my best guy friend and I just don’t know exactly what to say to him. I’m not going to let it mess up our friendship though, he’s too important to me to let something like this get in the way of our friendship.
Then I was texting my best friend tonight and I asked her when she was going to ask him back out (because I want that to happen before I see him again) and she said she was going to do it in the morning and she wanted me to go with her. Okay, I will do that. She is my best friend. I just don’t know what to tell him. I need to stop making a big deal about it and just do it! Although I don’t know exactly what I’m doing. ugh please give me a break, I’m writing this at 11 pm (to some that may not be late for you but I’m just almost 15 and I get up at 5 every morning) right now and I’m tired x)
Again, this is being posted the day after I wrote it soooo yeah cause that’s when I can get wifi access and I’m saving this on my iPod. So yeah I guess I’ve wasted enough of your time… If there are people reading this…. Are There???
Aside Posted on Updated on
Hey guys! Sorry for such a long time, but I had a snow day off school today so I finally have time to write! (:
Okay, so let me say, I am over Jacob. MT is done with. But RW is slowly coming back…. Maybe? I honestly don’t know anymore, i saw him one day and all of my old feelings started coming back. This cannot happen!!!! If you haven’t read my blog before and don’t know who RW is, he is my old crush, the person I thought I loved. I soon realized that he wasn’t the perfect guy I thought he was… well, after 3 years of being convinced I was in love with him. But so when I saw him a few days ago, I suddenly felt that rush that I would get when I “loved” him a year ago. I will promise you though, that I will NEVER go back to how I felt about him last year, I (sadly) lived and I learned from it, and I’m never going to let myself get hurt again by him (: .
Anyways, done with talking about that. Have you seen the movie Warm Bodies?? if not, GO SEE IT!!! oh my gosh I am in love!!! It is an AMAZING movie!!!!! action packed, funny, and romantic!!! love the makeover scene! (which includes a shower scene ;)) haha, it sounds dirtier than it is but it doesn’t show anything bad, I promise. x) I saw it with my two best friends, Azure and Shea the day after it came out. We were really excited to see it ever since we went to see Breaking Dawn part II and saw the trailer for it. So like I said, LOVE Warm Bodies and if you haven’t seen it, go see it now!!!! (:
And about my best friend, Azure, we haven’t talked as much as we used to 😦 i miss her. We tried to hang out last weekend but then timing wasn’t just right.. i guess. She is very much OBSESSED with Harry Styles from One Direction, when I don’t care for him at all. I mean, One Direction is okay, they have some good/catchy songs but I’m not a huge fan, I like Louis (most definitely) and Niall the most….. Oh wow, I can’t believe I’m actually talking about One Direction in my blog O.o I’m very sorry. But my favorite band is and always will be Boys Like Girls (DORRito forever! :D), if you haven’t heard of them, there name doesn’t do them justice too well. They have some really amazing songs like Go, Stuck in the Middle, and Love Drunk (and much more). Other really good artists are Ed Sheeran (I’ve known about him for a few years now when the rest of America is pretty much just now figuring out how awesome he is), Brantley Gilbert, Taylor Swift, Christina Perri, The Fray, and Hunter Hayes (his song, Wanted, was the first song I ever learned on piano), there is also this YouTube channel called The Piano Guys, their cover of “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri made me cry :’-) . I as well have a YouTube channel, taylorswiftfan68, also know as Erica D. and enuttyproductions. you know, just saying ;D i also have a twitter: @ericaa1313, I post on there normally more than on here.
Gosh, I have no clue how I went from telling you about RW to telling you about what music artists are good x) sorry bout that, this post wasn’t real important but I felt like I needed to write. Well, I guess I’m gonna go. Bye ya’ll (:
P.S. I’ll try to post more frequently but school is been taking a lot of my time, sorry bout that! (: Peace, Love, and Happiness to you all! (:
This is going to be short and simple, i just needed to say this.
I was reading my past posts about RW and I’m like “Ha! How did i ever feel that way about him?!” Now, i can’t stand him. As for MT, getting over him. He and his girlfriend are back together and it didn’t bother me as much as i thought it would. Jacob and i are getting closer (: just an update! i know this post was kinda sucky but i felt like writing something cause it has been a little while and i don’t want to be going on major non-writing breaks like last time. Oh, and Warm Bodies comes out in less than 2 weeks!!! so excited!!!!! (:
mkay, byee (:
Okay, so… it’s been since last year since i’ve written…. (: okay, but its been since November so it’s been a while. Sorry for that. Many things have happened… lets see.. where to start:
Finals for 1st Semester went well yada yada yada..
The world didn’t end on December 21st yada yada yada..
Winter Break was good, kinda-ish boring when it wasn’t Christmas or New Years.
For the first time ever, on Christmas day, my sisters didn’t come for Christmas. Last year, my oldest sister didn’t come (cause she had a fiance and a kid), but my other (also older sister) would come over on Christmas Eve after we went to my grandparents, but she didn’t this year because she has a boyfriend and they live together and have a dog together. But I got to see both of them and my niece on Christmas Eve. Oh my! I have an amazing family! xD i don’t think anyone outside of our family would be able to survive the night with us! we are so unique! x) . My cousin, Kerra, told me a story about our other cousin and our aunt. My aunt asked my cousin, Amber, a question. Amber goes, “I don’t know, ask ChaCha.” then my aunt went, “.. Your ChaCha talks to you?!?!” x) and that’s just one thing! But anyways, I had a good time on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Got a Piano Keyboard! Learned how to play Thunder by BoysLikeGirls (: (I know how to play other songs but that was the first song i learned on my new keyboard).
Once Christmas was over, things started to slow down and get more relaxing.. but me and my cousin, Kerra, were talking about the good old times and wanted to have a sleepover with all us cousins. It was going to be at my house and i had to make sure everything was all good. I wasn’t expecting my two sisters and cousin, Amber, would want to come because they 3 are in their 20s and have their own lives. Kerra is 19 but she hangs out with me, and my cousins Madison (15 yrs old), and Nikkie (13 yrs old). She mostly would hang out and text Madison (probably because Madison is dating Kerra’s work friend, Josh). But when I was getting all the stuff ready for the sleep over, I texted Madison and Nikkie and they wouldn’t text me back. Madison did the same thing when i asked her if she wanted to go to Six Flags on the last day it was open because i had a coupon to get her in free and i promised i would take them before the season ended. My mom talked to my aunt first (Nikkie and Madison’s mom) and she said Nikkie was busy but i should text Madison to see if she was free. But she never answered, so i guess she didn’t want to go. Once she did it again, I was just done with her. I’m not going to give my all to people who won’t even give me anything. Which brings me to MT…
A day after we were back to school, MT and his girlfriend broke up. I thought that this was my perfect chance to be with him! Yeah no. He has changed since i first started liking him. And there is one reason. Taylor. This slutty girl that forced MT to be friends with her. Oh no, but it’s not just MT she has taken. When i started liking RW, she dated him. When i started liking Jacob (got some more to say about him:)), she starts barging in. And to top it all off, my two best guy friends, George and Logan, she is now trying to get close to them. Coincidence? Maybe.. but do I like her? Heck no! She even flirts with our Biology teacher!! (we have Biology, Algebra, and more together :P). I just don’t like her, at all!
Anyways, lets talk about today. As of January 7th, 2013, i came out with all of my friends (even my loud-mouth friend, Sean) that i like Jacob, and am slowly getting over MT (i’m starting to be disgusted by him since he hangs out with Taylor). My friends reactions were:
Azure: Awww! You so love him!
Addie: Oh My Gosh!!!! Awwwwww!
Sean: dude! i could so get you two together!
Suzana (she went out with him and i asked her how she felt about us): Totally okay with it, just remember, to get into his pants, there is like an 84 digit lock, saran wrap, a lock, and a Chasity belt!
x) ohhhhhh Suzana, how much i love our friendship!
Anyways, who knows what this week will bring.. I’ll try to keep you posted (:
Think i covered everything, so….. Bye!!! (:
P.S. if you don’t know who Dave Days and iamchrisc is, LOOK THEM UP ON YOUTUBE!!! i love them (:
Okay, so if you read my last post, you would know that, for thanksgiving, i hated going to my dads side and i loved going to my moms side but there was always drama and something always went wrong. well, lets see where to begin..
At my dad’s side, a lot of rich people, a lot of hug giving, and a lot of following my mom around. At first I was thinking it was going to be like all the other times I was here for Thanksgiving, but in the end, it turned out well. I hung out with my cousins, Justin(21), Noah(14, i think), Austin(8), and Shelby(10). We were in the game room for the majority of the time. When it came time to eat, Shelby wanted me to sit by her, so we went and got our food and my cousin, Adileigh, told me to come sit by her and my other two cousins, Maddie and Kaitlin. Luckily, Shelby was already sitting at the same table, so I was able to sit by all of them. Adileigh asked me if I was liking anyone at my school, I was like “yeahhh kinda.” I told them who and they asked me what he looked like and so I told them and they were like “oh my gosh! he sounds cute!” They were surprisingly more willing to talk to me, it was all pretty good.
At my mom’s side, it was pretty good. Here’s what went wrong though, my cousin, Nikkie, had the flu so her, my aunt, and my other 2 cousins stayed home. My niece also had the flu so she couldn’t come and neither could my sister. And also, my grandpa was feeling sick so he stayed in his room the whole night. But I didn’t let those things ruin my night. The people who were able to come were my grandma (because it was at her house, so yeah), my sister, Jaimee, her boyfriend, Nick, my mom and dad, my great aunt Madeline, my great uncle Jerry, my uncle mike, my uncle Joe (also known as uncle dora**), my uncle John, my aunt Lori, and my cousin, Kerra. We all sat around in the living room and dining room talking and laughing and having fun (: When people started leaving, me and Kerra (who is 19) talked. We had a pretty good conversation that we don’t usually get to have, it was a nice moment. It went pretty well (:
So in the end, I had a good time with my family, and I can’t wait to spend time with them again (:
P.S. sorry if there are mistakes, i’m tired but I really needed to write this now, so again, sorry
** i call my uncle Joe, “Uncle Dora” because my niece has this Dora the Explorer sippy cup, and my uncle went up to her and was like “That is a cool cup, Kaylen! I want one just like that!” so he wrote “Dora” on his red solo cup (when normally, we write our names on it), so, yeah. Thats how he got the nickname from me and my cousins, Nikkie and Madison. (:
So it’s the day before Thanksgiving and i just got on Thanksgiving break (Thank God!!). So I have 5 days without drama… ha! yeah right :l . My family is.. interesting. On my dad’s side, almost all of them are snooty rich people. On my mom’s side, I am MUCH closer on my mom’s side. We are all girls (a boy not born on that side of the family since 1961). I have 4 cousins (all girls), 2 sisters(both only my half-sisters), and a niece. Practically that whole side of the family is bipolar, and that is the problem.
Every year for Thanksgiving, we would have to go to my dad’s side first, to my great aunt’s house. That house is huge! Right when you walk down in the basement, you see this bar with a flat screen and you turn around and they have a pond.. under the stairs.. with fish swimming in it. Everyone on that side of the family thinks this is normal styled living, except for me, my mom, and dad. I feel like they kind of look down on us as the poor people in the family, we are more of the.. country living styled while they are.. fancy living styled. My mom can’t stand anyone on that side of the family, she just feels judged by them because she hasn’t had the best past. Kind of like me. It’s not like i can’t stand them, its just there is so many of them, that are rich, and im just a shy girl, and i feel like they are going to judge me with anything I say. I don’t have any blood related cousins, but there are people that my dad says they are my cousins (but like 2nd or 3rd cousins). But they are older and don’t care about me. There is one girl that is my “cousin” and she is the only one that is nice to me, she says hi to me when she sees me and i say hi back. Just every time we have to go over there, i count the minutes of how long it’s going to be until we go to my mom’s side.
When we go to my mom’s side, I love it, I forget all the bad things and I’m just in a happy place, until drama starts. That side of the family is messed up and sometimes crazy. We do have loving, funny moments, but we also have hard to get through times. Like I said a while ago, almost all of us are girls, and bipolar runs in the family. There has been so much drama in this family that i wouldn’t have enough time to put all of it in this post. Like last year, at Thanksgiving, i found out by one of my cousins that my other cousin was cutting herself, and told our other cousin (not saying names for privacy reasons so sorry if this gets confusing). We were really close when we were younger (we are exactly 9 months apart). She was closer to my age than our cousin she told (they are 4 years apart). I guess she thought i was too young to understand? actually no, I was in the same position as her but I didnt tell anybody (I’m not anymore thank goodness). So a lot of stuff went down about that last Thanksgiving, and I’m scared for whats in store tomorrow, most likely it’s going to be either something about my aunt and uncle or something between my sister and dad. Wish me luck! (: i’ll just try to look at the bright side.
oh, and P.S. Jacob nd my friend broke up 4 days after they got together, and i don’t know if i still have feelings for him or not, I’m just trying to enjoy the single life (: well byeeeeee (: and hope you have/had an amazing Thanksgiving (:
Okay so you guys might get mad at me but now I like another guy. His name is Jacob (ill actually tell you the name cause the name is super common, especially my school). We talk to each other every day and we have nick names for each other. I’ve had a mini crush on him for over a year now where you don’t really think about it but then when he gets a girlfriend you’re like “Awwww. Oh well.” But lately the crush has been getting bigger and bigger. The problem is now my 2 friends like him too. I found out right after I told my self I liked him and I wanted to be with him. But one of my friends that likes him would text me saying he gave a hug today and she’s happy because of it and the other friend that likes him, well, let me just tell you about that.
My friend I have been friends with for 10 years (since we were both 4) has been barely talking to me and not inviting me to things. She invited all her friends but me to the movies, the mall, and a party at her house for Halloween. She acts like nothing’s wrong but she doesn’t do anything with me.
So she likes Jacob and she invited him to her Halloween party and she knows I like him and liked him since 8th grade.
Well today (November 2nd) I go over to my friend azure, who is really good friends with her too. This was our coversation:
Me: did u get invited to her house for Halloween?
A: yeah but I didn’t go because I was going to hang out with Christina cause I haven’t hung out with her in a long time and she got mad at me.
Me: she didn’t invite me.
A: what! What is up with her?!
(I change the subject)
Me: yeah but Jacob and I worked together yesterday in History.
A: they’re going out now.
A: yeah I just found out. They’ve been going out for just a day.
Me: … great.
A: I don’t know what’s been up with her
She then called her to come meet me azure and our friend shea where we were but it was too late.
Me: I don’t eat to get in a fight with her and loose a friend
Azure:I’m sorry but you pretty much already did.
The bell then rang and we had to go our classes and then Shea came into my class and gave me half a cookie to make me feel better it worked a tiny bit (:
But I honestly don’t know what happened between me and my friend. I barely know who she is anymore.
P.S. I tried to find ways to not say her name for privacy reasons (: byee
Aside Posted on
About last week my math teacher changed the seating arrangements. That was the one class i sat by MT. I then went back one seat and MT went across the room. At that time i was like, “No, now i can’t talk to him and we will drift apart.” but later i was like, “Okay this is good, now it will be easier to get over him.
Well i get to Algebra class today and i sit down in my seat. Our teacher has MT switch seats with the girl that sat in front of me. If i had the thoughts of how i felt about him last week, i would be like, “Yes! This is a God-Sent thing! We are destined to be together!” but now im like, “Oh great, here we go again..”
And like i said in “Wonderful Weekend”, that i went to Six Flags with my friend, Azure, well… while we were waiting in line to get on a ride, i did a relationship quiz on her and her crush on my ipod. So she then made me do one on me and MT. So i put in both our names (his real name) and we got a 99% chance of being together. And so Azure made me try it on a different relationship quiz app i had, and it also said 99% with an analysis saying things including, “if not together already, they sure will be soon.”
Really?! I Mean, Really?! This kind of stuff always happens when i try to get over a guy. Yes i am happy about it but it also stinks because it hurts to be seeing him with his girlfriend (especially since they are telling each other they love each other) and he kind of hangs out with this popular slutty girl who i think also likes him (even though shes dating her best friend’s older brother).
It’s easy to fall in (fake) love, but extremely hard to get out of it. It’s like a black hole of pretend happiness.